project (notice how the title stands by itself, starkly, without embellishment, coldly inspiring dread)

This post is about an IITK issue. (It is from my experience only. Point one, as I speak, the virus may have manifested itself in other IITs too. Point two, its not even an issue, except maybe for me and some like minded people (read none))
As the summer approaches, the atmosphere in IITK heats up (not just literally, which it anyway does). Suddenly everyone gets interested in a "summer project". People who were earlier not interested in anything academic or scholarly (note that everything academic is not scholarly and vice versa) suddenly want to do a "project". The CC comps, previously used only for orkuting (For those who dont know, it is a group where a person gets to know like minded people, who generally do nothing except look for like minded people, which implies that this person does nothing except looking for like minded people. [A classic case of infinite recursion]. It also involves a double edged weapon of torture (two in one!) (atleast for me), which is euphemistically called a scrapbook....err.. this is getting too long. Guess I have to do another post exclusively on this topic... Anyway, you must have got the message) suddenly become hotbeds of pseudo academic activity, where people start searching for "projects". The scrapbooks, which earlier formed the venues for conversations like "abe @##$%*&! ut saale (get up) nahi to fakka lagega (otherwise you will get an F)" suddenly get filled with "mai so and so club mai project kar raha hoon. Kuch project suggest karo".
When there is an F to F meeting, the conversation closely follows the template of the sample conversation given below -
A: Hai, congrats, souwa scrap ho gaya? (Hi, congrats on your 100th scrap)
B: Tere to teen sou hai na, @#$%&*! (You have 300, @#$%&*!)
A: To, kya haal hai? (So how are you?)
B: Kya bolu, endsems agaya. (What to say? Endsems are here)
A: Magaai kaisi chal rahi hai? (How is the mugging going on? (Mugging is in the literal sense))
B: @#$%&* raha hai. (Not coming on at all)
A: Pura sem mai classes nahi attend kiya to yehi hoga. (If you do not attend classes the whole sem, this is what happens)
A: Batti mai to sikka aur dikka ke borderline pe hoon. Tauwa main to @#$%&* ho gaya. (In electronics, I am between a C and a D. I am not doing well at all in TA).
B: Mere haal be kuch aisa hi hain. (Even I am in a similar situation)
A: Pehle sem mai maths me fakka padaa na @#$!%&! (You got an F in maths in the first sem, didnt you @#$!%&!) (Note that the swear-words are going to become so abundant that my usage of an arbitrary string of symbols is going to seriously degrade the quality of the sentence. So from now, when such sublime language is used, I am going to represent it conveniently with the symbol [abuse])
B: Is sem mai bhi wohi haal hai [abuse]. (I am in the same situation in this semester too [abuse])
A: To summers mai yaha rukoge hi [abuse]. (So you must be staying back in the summers [abuse])
B: Kya karoon , wohi karna hain (What to do , I must stay back)
A: Mai bhi shayad yaha summer mai ruk re. (I may also stay back in the summer)
B: Kya X yaha summer mai ruk re [abuse]? (Is X staying back in the summer or what, [abuse]) (Where X refers to an unnamed girl in the batch with whom A is mistakenly associated, though in all probability X has not heard of, nor will ever hear of A)
A: [abuse], mai project karna chahta hoon. ([abuse], I want to do a project) (Generally, the word 'project' is pronounced by bounty hunters as it is in TA [as a part of projection], probably because they hadn't heard of the word before their ill fated attempts to mug up procedures for the TA exam) (Also note the late stage of the conversation at which the main objective is introduced, all the while indulging in a conversation designed to maximise the pleasure each gets from the other's total ignorance, lack of culture and sophistication)
B: Kya project kar rahe ho [abuse]? (What project are you doing [abuse]?)
A: [abuse], pata nahin. ([abuse], I dont know )
B: Abe [abuse], tu robo club ka secy hai na. ([abuse], you are a secy of the robo club)
A: Arre [abuse], mujhe yaad bhi nahin aya. ([abuse], I didn't even remember it)
B: Abe [abuse], fraud aadmi, kaisa secy ban gaya? ([abuse], you fraud, how did you become a secy?)
A: [abuse] mujhe bhi nahin pata. Interview main to hag diya. Pata nahin ki woh log mujhe kaisa select kiya. Muft mai secy ban gaya. Yahan aane se pehle maine 'robot' naam bhi nahi suna .([abuse], even I don't know. I performed horribly in the interview. I dont know how they selected me. I became a secy for free. I had never heard the word 'robot' before coming here)
B: To robotics mai project karo na . Net pai search maaro. Shaayad orkut par kuch logon ne pehle robot dekha hoga. dhoond [abuse](So do a project in robotics, Do a search on the net. Maybe there is someone on orkut who has seen a robot before. Search [abuse])
A: Haan wo kaam kar doonga. Tu bhi ruk re na, to hum dono milke "project" karte hain. (Yes I'll do that work. Since you will also stay, we'll do the "project" together) (Note that he is so pleased by the transcendental wisdom of the other's suggestion that in his bliss, he forgets to introduce a swear word into the conversation)
B: Woh to karte hain. Lekin ab to magna hain na [abuse]. Fakka to bachaana hain na [abuse].
(Lets do that work. But now I must mug [abuse]. I have to prevent myself from getting an F [abuse]) (Notice the overkill of abuses in the sentence, so as to bring this (un?)savoury element back into the conversation and reduce it from its previously stratospheric heights)
Both go on their respective ways. Later they will unite and change the world with their "project"........

Antonio Saglieri in the very last scene in Amadeus:
"Mediocrity is everwhere....
I absolve you
I absolve you
I absolve you all...."